Does God answer your prayers?

This week I focused on my career and trying to hear from God. I don't think my spiritual ears have been turned on, until last night. This week I was so confused, how am I supposed to balance jobs, how is this going to work God, how can this be possible? I prayed all weekend (last weekend) for God to tell me to accept another position, I was interviewed for and approved for. The job did not make enough money for me to be able to quit my full time job however, I was asking God how, how!. But I simply did not hear from him. No one confirmed that I should take the job. No verse encouraged me to take the job. I searched for wisdom all over. Unsatisfied that nothing was turning up, I turned this over to God. I sacrificed the very thing I was desiring at the moment.

I walked into that job, shaky and nervous. Anxious since I did not hear from God, and at this point unless Jesus himself sent me a quick sign (there's still time Jesus!! I thought) it seemed like this job was not for me. But anyone who knows me, knows that saying No, is very hard for me. I take on too many jobs, opportunities, and responsibilities. But I explained to the director of the program that my mind was saying yes! But my heart was saying no for some reason.  And it was then, that I grew a little. I turned the position down. It was so hard, and it sucked. But once the words came out of my mouth, my whole body and spirit was relieved. I was actually...happy! I was happy to know that I would not be adding any additional stress on myself by trying to work a full time job, open a practice, and commit to yet another organization 3 times a week! I began thanking God, because not only did he answer me, but he is building me to make better decisions.

As I left the office, I gave my apologies to the director for wasting her time. She replied "Oh don't worry about, I'm gonna be using you, but I will let you get settled first in your practice." After all that, she still wants to use me and consider me down the line?! I was so happy and thankful.

Is God answering your prayers? Have you felt that he hasn't spoken to you about something you've prayed about? Make sure your listening, because he could very well be answering your prayers, but just not with the response your looking for.

I'm walking, I'm walking

I'm totally walking now. Yes it takes me quite awhile to get on here and make a post. My son was up until 10 pm last night at the sitters and is sleeping in this morning, giving me time to enjoy my coffee and get prepared for today! I'm excited, my idea will be a real live thing come August. Today I'm going to help with my ministries Yard Sale, then we are going to try to pick up as many things as we need for my office space. Excited, but know it's real.

My walk with God is regular and something I look forward too. The more I get closer to him, he comes to me. He blesses me. He let's me know he cares in many ways than just money. He's awesome. And I stand in awe of him as I get closer and closer. Before I would try to get close to God because I wanted what he could do for me. Not anymore. I KNOW he can do it ALL for me. I want to know him, be obediant, learn his desires for me, and fulfill my purpose. I have always said "I was going to make an impact" or "I'm special!" haha. I still feel that way. And a few months ago, I felt God's grip on my shoulders shaking me saying "Wake up- Get Serious! Your time is now! Don't miss it". Something in my brain clicked on, and I obliged.

So far I can really see small things about me changing. And other's can see my growth as well. Still wish I would have documented these experiences over the last three months, but that's ok because I will still have more. Project no cursing is doing well. I have blurbed out a few maybe 2x a week when something falls, as a natural response. I'm doing better. Project healthier you, doing ok, making minimal progress. I did commit to joining a gym. Haven't went to the gym yet. It's a process.

I'm about 39% (thanks kindle) completed with What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa Terkeuerst. Here are things I've learned and have applied to my life so far.

• Phase one: A leaving phase. I have drawn the line in the sand months ago, but I hadn't crossed it. Finally in the two weeks, I went ahead and left my old self behind. That's right I surrendered my flesh. And it didn't kill me. I worked through it slowly. I have taken on my new name (that's another entry) and moved forward walking side by side with God regulary and faithfully. 
• In phase one I have learned that I need to love God more than 'my' dreams. When I get frustrated with things not forcing them together...I need to learn to offer my dream as a sacrifice. Put it up for now and wait for God's move. 
• Phase two: Currently reading. Learning about the Famine Phase. Accepting God's invitation and really learning he is with me. Refusing to get bogged down with disappointment or frustration when things aren't working in my time. Staying faithful. Remembering Joseph's 13 year famine phase (Sweet Jesus, 13 years.)

I am taking my time with this book, keeping a notebook with my thoughts, assignsments and goals. Journaling is the best for me. I'm the kind of person who needs to reflect about my choices, goals, etc.

Well I have made small changes like I said within my self. I've gotten serious about 'my father's business'.  I'm walking...


Mary Mary - Walking

Obediance and Surrendering Pt. I

Another post...only a month later. Someone's doing better.

I have continued my journey walking with God. We have gotten closer. In that now, we have a set time each day to walk. I thank God, and bless his name. Then we have a serious discussion about how I have been. I ask God to forgive me for things I know were wrong. I ask him to continue to work on me. Building my character. I also ask him...to make it easier for me to surrender.

The flesh. My flesh loves ways of the world. After all, that's where most of the temporary pleasure derives. But I seriously--am fighting. I know God wants to do something great in my life. Soon. He has called me, and has began molding me. Building me up with scripture. Convicting me as needed. Bringing me back when I've wondered a bit too far. Whispering encouragement and faithful words to me. I love him. So much. But I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready to be obedient. There are things that God has asked me to do. For a while now. And it's taken me so long to begin them. I've started a few small projects.

Project No Cursing and Project Healthier You. Trying to not curse. And trying to not eat fast food, attempt to get some sort of healthy lifestyle started. Key word started.

It's so hard though. Flesh wants to fight this so bad. My mind fights me. I want to sing the curse words in my favorite songs on the radio. I want to quote things with curse words in them on facebook if it helps prove my point. I don't want to give up fast food all the time. I don't want to commit to a gym membership.

I often say I'm too busy to do things for my ministry. And god convicts me bad. I have got to make the change somewhere. Today I listened to Joyce Meyers. She explained that when we are obedient, whether we feel like it or not, God will bless us. We will get the benefits in it for us. She also explained that God should be feared. Not like we are scared of him. But almost like the unreputable respect you have for your parents. You know not to go there with them. Same for God. When you are doing things disobedient...and you are aware of it...Your only hurting yourself.

I need to surrender it all to him. I need to do it soon. God has major plans for me. But he needs to know if my heart is with him. The hardest battle of my life.