Obediance and Surrendering Pt. I

Another post...only a month later. Someone's doing better.

I have continued my journey walking with God. We have gotten closer. In that now, we have a set time each day to walk. I thank God, and bless his name. Then we have a serious discussion about how I have been. I ask God to forgive me for things I know were wrong. I ask him to continue to work on me. Building my character. I also ask him...to make it easier for me to surrender.

The flesh. My flesh loves ways of the world. After all, that's where most of the temporary pleasure derives. But I seriously--am fighting. I know God wants to do something great in my life. Soon. He has called me, and has began molding me. Building me up with scripture. Convicting me as needed. Bringing me back when I've wondered a bit too far. Whispering encouragement and faithful words to me. I love him. So much. But I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready to be obedient. There are things that God has asked me to do. For a while now. And it's taken me so long to begin them. I've started a few small projects.

Project No Cursing and Project Healthier You. Trying to not curse. And trying to not eat fast food, attempt to get some sort of healthy lifestyle started. Key word started.

It's so hard though. Flesh wants to fight this so bad. My mind fights me. I want to sing the curse words in my favorite songs on the radio. I want to quote things with curse words in them on facebook if it helps prove my point. I don't want to give up fast food all the time. I don't want to commit to a gym membership.

I often say I'm too busy to do things for my ministry. And god convicts me bad. I have got to make the change somewhere. Today I listened to Joyce Meyers. She explained that when we are obedient, whether we feel like it or not, God will bless us. We will get the benefits in it for us. She also explained that God should be feared. Not like we are scared of him. But almost like the unreputable respect you have for your parents. You know not to go there with them. Same for God. When you are doing things disobedient...and you are aware of it...Your only hurting yourself.

I need to surrender it all to him. I need to do it soon. God has major plans for me. But he needs to know if my heart is with him. The hardest battle of my life.